Worthy Without Proving: How Alignment Creates True Abundance with Lani Gonzales

What if true abundance doesn’t come from hustling, striving, or proving your worth — but from alignment?

In this episode of Worthy & Abundant, Linda Brand sits down with clinical hypnotherapist, international speaker, and former attorney Lani Gonzales to explore the deeper meaning of abundance, worthiness, and fulfillment.

Lani shares her personal journey from outward success — a prestigious legal career, financial stability, and material rewards — to an inner realization that something was missing. Despite having “everything” on paper, she felt unfulfilled until she confronted the subconscious patterns around worth, overachievement, and self-abandonment that had been driving her life.

Together, Linda and Lani discuss:

• The difference between abundance from hustle and abundance from alignment
• Why money alone is not the same as fulfillment
• How subconscious programming shapes our sense of worth
• What it means to stop proving your value and start living from it
• How living a purpose-driven, aligned life allows abundance to flow more effortlessly. This conversation is for women who are tired of striving, exhausted by overachievement, and ready to remember that they are already worthy — and that true abundance comes from being aligned with who they are and sharing their gifts.

✨ You don’t have to earn your worth.
✨ You don’t have to force abundance.
✨ You get to remember who you are.

Find Lani at https://lanigonzales.com

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Transcript

welcome back to Worthy and Abundant. Thank you for being here. I never take it for granted that you're here listening. I'm super excited for today's guest.

She is a clinical hypnotherapist former attorney. She is an author and an international speaker who helps women and high achievers rewire subconscious patterns that block fulfillment, abundance, and self-trust. After leaving a successful legal career, Lonnie Gonzalez. Devoted her life to understanding how early conditioning, trauma and unconscious beliefs shape our sense of worth.

And how those patterns can be rewritten. Her work bridges science and spirituality blending hypnotherapy, nervous system regulation, and deep inner awareness to help people live aligned, prosperous and soul driven lives. Today's conversation goes beyond mindset and motivation. We're talking about worthiness.

Abundance and what actually changes when you stop trying to prove your [00:01:00] birth and prove your value, and you start living from it. Please welcome Lonnie Gonzalez to the show. Thank you for being here, Lonnie. I'm so excited for this conversation. You are a perfect fit for this, podcast. Well, thank you.

I'm so excited to be here and I am so happy to have this opportunity to share with your audience and help them in any way that I can. Wonderful. So tell us, you had a successful legal career on paper. What was the inner moment when you realized that success wasn't the same as fulfillment? Because many women listening are outwardly doing well, but they quietly feel disconnected.

What did that disconnection feel like in your body before you changed career paths? And looking back now, what was the. Awakening moment, , Hmm. So there is a book and it is called The Second Mountain, and one of the things it talks about is many of us are trained to [00:02:00] climb that first mountain.

That might look like the milestones that we have. Um. In terms of career, having a certain job, having a certain title, making a certain amount of money, um, that milestone may even be having kids at a certain age, getting married, buying a home. And what tends to happen is we'll climb that first mountain, we get to the very top and we go, oh, is that it?

Uh, and for myself, I had that, oh, is this it moment where everything that I thought would make me happy, fulfilled, uh. Oh, I had it all. I had all the things. So I became a lawyer at 23 years old. I was a partner at a law firm at a really young age. Um, I did really well for myself and it didn't feel like enough and for me what that felt like was a searching.

I didn't feel contentment the other ways that people did, and I always found myself wanting [00:03:00] more and I remembered telling my my law firm partner at the time. I don't think I'm supposed to just be a lawyer. I think that there's something more, I don't know what that more is, but I believe that there is something and I am open to finding it.

And I think that's step one for everybody's journey. If you're trying to manifest abundance, purpose, fulfillment, the thing that really lights up your soul, and your purpose on this planet, one of the first steps is saying, I'm open to finding whatever that is. So when I became open to whatever that was.

I started looking at the world in a completely different way. Um, and for me, I just lost the taste of temporary things. Money is incredibly fleeting, material things are incredibly fleeting, and I wanted something that would last. Something that. Fulfilled me regardless of if I was in a courtroom [00:04:00] or regardless of whether I'm making six figures or $6, there is something that has to fill me more than the life that I created.

Um, my personal journey called me to take ayahuasca, which is a plant medicine. It is a tea psychedelic that's been used in the Amazon for centuries. What it does creates DMT or you're consuming DMT and they say that connects you to a lot of people, say God or that type of experience. And when I sat with Ayahuasca, I was like, well, I've done decades of counseling, I've read the self-help books, I'm pretty self-aware.

I think I'm just gonna sit here and talk to God or whoever it is up there, um, and get more information. And what I saw and the first thing I was told is. Everything that you know is a lie. The entire life that you have created, you have built on a lack of self worth. And I started to see that from a completely different [00:05:00] perspective.

As I grew up in a culture where girls are not something that you listen to. They sit politely in a corner. And especially women in general, we're not really the ones who are supposed to have the power, and we want to feel that worthiness and we're taught to earn it. And I realized that everything I built.

I wanted to look good on paper 'cause I didn't feel good on the inside. And that has to do with a lot of conditioning. Um, as humans, we condition between the ages of zero and seven, our core beliefs and values. So everything you know about yourself, the world, and everything in it, you have programmed between the ages of zero and seven.

You take that pattern, repeat over and over and over again. And for myself, what I learned between the ages of zero and seven is that love can hurt that people you trust can leave you. But maybe if you try a little harder and you earn it and you're good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin [00:06:00] enough, then you get all the things you want.

And when I sat with Ayahuasca, I realized and I remembered. I'm worthy exactly as I am worth, abundance, purpose. Those are our birthright, and it showed me. What life could look like if I actually built from a place of love and worthiness. So, um, it was a very long journey for me, but realizing that my heart is always called to serve.

And if I don't always have to prove and push and I'm allowed to just be me, and even better as an entrepreneur, I can make money by just being me and doing what I love. That's the sweet spot, but that takes a lot of internal reflection, changing your internal programming when it comes to worthiness and abundance in order to really achieve that.

I love all of it so much. I, I'm ex I'm not accept, but I'm, I'm not familiar. [00:07:00] I've heard of the plant medicine. It keeps showing up. And, um, even one of my favorite songs, he talks about microdosing, which I think has to do with that. But, um. I personally have not experienced the Ayahuasca, but I know others who have and it's all fascinating.

So how long was your journey? I'm just curious 'cause you said it's a very long journey. I've been on a very long journey as well. So I'm curious how long like was it a one time. So in terms of ayahuasca, I sat for two days for my very first experience, and ayahuasca can last between four to eight hours.

I think the average is probably like six hours. Um, I actually facilitate Ayahuasca retreats and I do psychedelic assisted therapy within the United States. But it is not for everybody. Right? And in fact, there are alternative methods of achieving those altered states of consciousness. Um, and that openness to ourself, for example, breath work, hypnotherapy, these are natural [00:08:00] ways to achieve what Ayahuasca does.

Yeah. So, uh, we don't need this wild ride. I think a lot of times when we wanna change our life, we take these big extreme actions. Truthfully, ayahuasca is a big extreme action, but our life is truly changed by small little micro decisions that we make every single day. So I don't think that people should just rush to psychedelics.

There are so many avenues that are available to people and more. Readily accessible, truthfully. Yeah. Um, and really the ultimate power and the ultimate medicine is us. Mm-hmm. So ayahuasca and plant medicine, it really is a catalyst and not so much a crush to our development. And I would say those ayahuasca journeys for myself, they're round four to eight hours.

But the journey of finding why I'm here and my ultimate purpose, I would say that that is a lifetime journey in every single moment I've realized, has brought me to, and has culminated to me [00:09:00] stepping into my purpose now. So for example. My job seems very different. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist.

I help people with trauma. I help people with abuse. I help people tap into their higher self. People might think, oh, that's very different from being a lawyer. Not quite. Um, I think there, it has prepared me in certain ways. So for example, I became a lawyer because I believe that lawyers help speak for people who cannot speak for themselves.

And I realized, oh, I can do one better. I can teach people how to actually speak. And I realized the power of spoken word by being an attorney. So that's really helped me in my practice now, um, one thing also at. When it comes to being a, an attorney, we are taught the Socratic methods. So in law school, they don't just feed you information, they teach you how to think by asking appropriate questions.

So I am not a life coach, um, nor do I profess to be a. [00:10:00] You don't come to my office and I just spew out words of wisdom. I think the most empowering thing that we can do for people is ask them the appropriate questions so that they can find the answers on their own. And I realized as a hypnotherapist, I'm incredibly good at those things.

'cause I've been doing it for 13 years as a lawyer. So, um, we don't always. See how the dots align and how our path actually brings us closer to what our ultimate destiny and purpose is. But I guarantee you anybody who is listening to this, if they have that question on their heart of, I wonder what my purpose is, or that feeling like there has to be more.

Whether you see it or not, you're already on that journey. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, exactly. And also, isn't it like when you go back to when you were small and if, if they don't know their purpose, like go back to when you were little, like, what did you wanna do with, what did you feel drawn to, right? Like mm-hmm. So many times people are, [00:11:00] you know, like we talked about program from zero to seven and

it's just all super interesting, but, so you talk about the subconscious programming formed early in life, which you said zero to seven. I agree. I I know this to be true as well. What are some of the most common unconscious beliefs you see in high achieving women around the worth and being enough?

And , many people equate overachievement with safety. Can you explain how striving can actually be a trauma response and Absolutely. Yeah. And many times it actually is. So this is my 2 cents from my personal experience. I have clients come to me for so many different reasons, but I can break it down into two flavors of pain.

It's either unworthy or unsafe. A combination of the two is what it always boils down to. And when we feel unworthy, a lot of times that is that motivating force for overachieving always [00:12:00] doing things. How do you know if you've got that unworthiness wound? Try resting, see what it feels like to rest. Try receiving.

See what it feels like to simply receive, try being completely out of control and letting everything out of your hands. What does that feel like if it doesn't feel good? When we can't trust, we can't receive, we can't surrender. There is some feeling of unsafe or unworthiness, and from my experience just working with so many people, I can spot 'em and you can too.

And I'm going to give you the. Easiest way to tell if you're burnt out. It's probably coming from a space of unworthy or unsafe. Why? When you see someone, there's a difference. Let's step back a bit. There is a difference between creating. In order to feel worthy, to feel powerful, to feel successful, [00:13:00] versus feeling worthy, feeling powerful, feeling successful in whole, and creating from that space.

And sometimes we do the reverse. So instead of feeling worthy and then creating from that space, we don't feel good and we hope to create worthiness. You can see based on how much joy they hold in that process. Right. Someone who genuinely feels worthy whole and is walking in their purpose with a tremendous amount of trust.

They find joy in the journey. You can tell they actually enjoy what they're doing. They find pleasure. They find adventure. They approach things with a sense of curiosity versus people who are striving and efforting because there's this deep wound of unworthiness. They always have to go. They always have to do, they can't rest because if they rest.

What thoughts come in? Is it shame? Is it unworthy? Is it not enough? So you can tell by the [00:14:00] outcome of is it burnout, is it joy? What does the journey feel like? Not the destination. What does that actual journey feel like? And if that journey is constantly, you're exhausted, you are drained, um, you're feeling like you're burning out, that's not worthiness, that's your fuel, that's unsafe, unloved.

Um, so let's see. I agree. I, I know it's wild. So tell me, how did you learn to trust and how did you, um. I mean, you had your experience with the Ayahuasca. You knew that, you know, you, you got all the messages and you understood this was all, everything was a lie, all your programming was bs. On your journey of becoming, worthy and all of the things and whole and feeling safe, did you experience times when doubt would show up or fear?

, Absolutely how did you handle it? [00:15:00] So I think everybody experiences doubt and fear on their journey, especially when they're taking really big moves in their career when you're taking these huge leaps of faith. So, for example, myself, I was a partner at a law firm. I had a steady salary and I would, for all the rest of my days that I chose to be there.

And to take that huge leap of faith and become a hypnotherapist, which if you Google how much hypnotherapist make, it's frightening. Don't look it up. But to be able to say, and this was my core belief, is I can be abundant and even more abundant if I move from space of love. If I had built this big, beautiful thing from unworthiness, imagine what I will.

Built from a space of love and alignment. But that doesn't take away the fear. Uh, fear is something that is incredibly natural and your mind and your nervous system are not designed to make you happy. They are designed to keep you safe. Yeah. And [00:16:00] anything that is. Different from your norm is considered a threat.

It feels fear. So for example, if you grew up between the ages of zero and seven years old and instability and uncertainty where your norm. Peace does not feel good. Peace stimulates fear in those types of people. So applying that in terms of a leap of faith and taking a leap of faith for finding a new career path, of course it's going to stimulate fear, but recognizing.

That's not your soul talking, that's just your nervous system and your thoughts. They're naturally designed to keep you safe. Safe means predictable. So I always tell my clients, this lies. This lies all the time. Yeah, your thoughts are tainted. They are conditioned by society, by fears, even fears that aren't your own.

You can't just reach for this. Your nervous system may be activated as well. It's just trying to make [00:17:00] sure that you don't get eaten by a bear or some other threat that you're not perceiving. But soul always knows the way, and we can always tap into that part of ourselves that always knows the way. And for myself, the question that you asked, how did I learn to trust?

For me it was a big inner journey of not only talking to my inner self. Talking to my ancestors as well, talking to spirits that I do believe guide me and looking at the data. 'cause I'm also very logical and scientific as well. Uh, my parents, uh. We came here as legal immigrants, and they have thrived.

They're abundant, they're entrepreneurs themselves. But my mother, she worked in sweatshops. She didn't have running water. She brushed her teeth with twigs, but she had a little dream in her heart, and I witnessed her success. And sometimes when I didn't believe in myself, one of the things that [00:18:00] comforted me is her blood runs through my blood.

Mm, I know that to be true. And I actually hosted a retreat last weekend in Tulum, and uh, we did a sweat lodge ceremony. And one of those aspects is talking to your ancestors, and part of it was talking to your mother. And my intention was to have the courage, the faith, the trust in order to walk my path.

And when it became part of that time of that ceremony to talk to your mother. One of the things I said was, thank you for your courage, your strength, your faith, and your trust to come to a foreign country where that that lage isn't your tongue. To not even have the stability of being a legal citizen here, but yet she forged that path.

Oh yeah. And to be able to thank her for that. And in that ceremony, the response I received is My blood is your blood. So. There is tremendous comfort in knowing where I'll [00:19:00] come from. So that's one of many ways. Yeah. But also, um, in a meditation practice that I had, um, I would always receive instructions and an instruction I received was one more big jump and I was like, no, man, no.

I'm jumped enough in my life. Why? One more, why would you ask such a thing of me? I've done so many things in my life. Why one more? And it just says one more big jump and. I sat in meditation and I chose to listen and see what that looked like, and I jumped and I saw to my left where all the versions of me, right by my side, so proud of me into my right, the future version of myself thanking me for having the courage to jump.

Behind me. All of the ancestors that I have had who did not have the opportunity that I had, they were in scarcity. They were in lack. They lived in a developing third world country and the. They kept enduring [00:20:00] so one day that their daughter could actually rise. So when I chose to jump, I'm not jumping alone.

I am incredibly supported and held in that space. Yeah, so for me, I guess the answer of how do you trust and is really finding faith in whatever flavor that looks like. It doesn't have to be religion. It doesn't have to be a God that you pray to in the sky. We find our faith in every way we can, and that might look for.

Different from different people. Yeah, yeah. No, I love that. Um, it's so true what you said. And basically you're, you're, you're, you're breaking the, um, ancestral, uh, trauma with your, um, courage and strength and stepping into your aligned self, but you're taking the power, like I, I used to blame. My family for all the things, all the negative programming and the, the, the fear and lack and scarcity that I was raised with.

But now as I've healed and [00:21:00] grown and evolved, I now look at the positives that I, like my grandmother was, came from rush out when she was 12 and they had to give everything up to come here and all the things that they went through. And you know, like there's just so much strength and courage, like you said, and, and resilience.

That, that we can look at, or my dad who put himself through pharmacy school and didn't have his dad was a peddler and you know, he, you know, it's like we can look at what we, you know, the negative or we can look at the positive, but I love what you're saying about your mother and looking at all the positive, but she masculine energy her way through, you know?

Right. She did all these things. Suffered and all the things which we, you can choose that path or you can choose the more, right? I mean, but maybe they didn't have the opportunities that we have today. Um mm-hmm. But anyway. No, I love all of that and I agree. And for me, yeah, religion. Is one way. There's multiple ways to [00:22:00] find faith and trust, and it's very powerful.

What did you use to, to regulate your nervous system? Um, and, and rewire your worth and abundance? Like what, um, did you use breath work? Did you use meditation? Did you use, oh, you're a hypnotherapist, so you, yeah. Yeah. You probably had that and then loved it and became, is that how it went? How did it go?

Absolutely. So for myself and looking at those old stories and the narratives that are running our lives, hypnotherapy is incredibly powerful. So, um, what that is, is you slow down the brain wave state to theta and theta is. Where we learn, where we program, and where we can reprogram. And a practice that I teach people about is noticing.

Let's say that you have a discomfort notice where you feel it in your body, and I actually amplify it. I make it worse as big and loud as possible because your subconscious mind will be activated by [00:23:00] that because it'll say, Hey, we don't like this feeling. But then you keep that feeling big and loud and it'll say, Hey, we don't like this feeling because.

And it'll show you the story. So through hypnotherapy, I tap into that story for myself to see where that story came from. And like I said, we program between the ages of zero and seven years old with childlike resources. So to be able to look at it now as an adult with older, wiser. Kinder, more compassionate eyes, we can tell a different story and we can program that story, um, in that theta brainwave state.

So for myself, I practice what I preach. So I am a hypnotherapist, so I do a lot of self hypnosis on myself. And in terms of regulating my nervous system, some small simple tips that I give to a lot of people, uh, I notice that I would be up and I'd be wired. So even if I, uh. Stopped being a lawyer, I still felt like I had to do something.

I could never just rest. So [00:24:00] I started the first part of my day with incredible focus and intention. So I wake up at five, I don't start working until 10. So five hours that I start my day with really taking care of myself and I call it focus, work, and presence. So our mind is gonna wander with our to-do list and all of these things.

I have chickens. I make eggs. So imagine cracking that egg. What is the color of the egg? What is the feeling of the shell? What does it feel like when that liquid comes out? Notice what the sizzle sounds like and just focus. And any time your mind wanders, go back to the thing you're doing. Let's say you drink tea.

I'm a tea drinker, so imagine that water, that warmth, that might feel nice, that might feel like comfort. What do I feel today? What do I need today? And I imagine as I'm making my tea, I pour in health, I pour in wealth, I pour in true love, and then I drink it. And I'm drinking in my intentions. So from a [00:25:00] spiritual perspective, people might say, oh, you're using reiki and energy work.

From a scientific perspective, I'm gonna call it subconscious priming. I'm telling my brain that I'm consuming health, wealth, and true love. As I'm focusing on my egg and my tea, I'm telling my brain and my body we're safe. We don't need to scan, we don't need to look forward into the future. Here is where we are.

And as ridiculous as those practices are, there's the compound effect. Doing those small things over time compounds, it improves your focus. But also when you start your day in such a regulated state, instead of having a to-do list, you start with a two feel list. And those are small steps that you can take.

If you are in that state of burnout or hustling, small little steps over time compound to actually change your life. I love it so much. It sounds so nourishing and so beautiful and so [00:26:00] powerful and it's, it's really, um, being present and. I love it so much because like you couldn't even back when you were the attorney on autopilot, the do, do, do, I mean like you just, you know what I mean?

It, it's just such night and day. It's you, you've literally completely transformed yourself, like completely, right? Like from that, and it's funny. Yeah. You say that doing energy and you said a lot of people are autopilot, and they do do do, but take a look and step back. Why are people doing, they do because they want to feel a certain way, right?

You work hard because you wanna feel programming accomplished. You wanna feel accomplished because you wanna feel worthy and loved and enough. Instead of starting with how you wanna do things and what you need to do, reverse that. How do you feel You can feel worthy, whole, and complete just as you are right now, and then move [00:27:00] from that space and notice.

How much more aligned, how much more flow, and even joy you find in the journey. It might look the exact same way, but it doesn't have that same pressure. It doesn't have that same stress. When you focus on what it is you wanna feel moving from a place of worthiness first instead of doing in order to feel worth.

It's beautiful. Yeah, exactly. Um, tell us, um, is it possible to reprogram beliefs without reliving trauma when you're doing the hypnotherapy? Absolutely. In fact, I think there are moments where it is completely inappropriate to do a regression. So, um, what I talked about before, where we look at our old stories, that would be in the line of regression is going back in time and reliving having somatic release of.[00:28:00]

Emotions that are trapped within our body so that we can move forward. There are moments where it is inappropriate and for example, I've worked with clients who have been sex trafficked. I don't need to have you relive that in order for you to move forward. So, um, there are other approaches. Don't require you to relive past pain.

So for example, there are ways to redirect. Redirection is a powerful thing. In fact, laughter and humor are incredible, powerful tools for redirection. So when your mind is ruminating and you're stress and you're fearful and you're worried, um, something that I love to do is. Tapping in combination with something that makes you laugh.

So imagine that you're kind of sitting there ruminating, somebody taps you on the shoulder and it distracts you, right? It gets you out of your thought pattern. So tapping can be the same thing. Combining that with neurolinguistic programming thoughts that redirect your current thought pattern and teaching your body certain ways of [00:29:00] safety.

So for example. I, uh, have a woman and she says that she has issues with food because she has a history of eating disorders and she has an aura ring and her stress level spikes with food. We don't necessarily need to go back in time to fix that pattern. Fine food. And again, it's something that requires presence.

What does that feel like in your mouth? What does that taste like? Is it sweet? Is it cold? Is it mushy? Chew it. Notice, is it different? Are there seeds? Is the outside different from the inside? Mindful feel good. Is it mindful? Absolute. Yeah. Mindful eating. Yeah. And, and I, I, I, um, there's a book that Maryanne Williamson wrote called, um.

What is it called? A course in a course in weight loss or a course in, I think it's something like that. And she talks about it's not about the food and that we don't, you don't, you know, it's so, it's re creating a new relationship with food where you actually, you know, get this. [00:30:00] Yeah. Because you're not really enjoying the food when you're having this.

Yeah, so when you Absolutely. So yeah, applying the same concept, you don't necessarily need to go back in time. You can modify the relationship and how your body feels. So let's say that there's a certain thing that makes you really activated can, and you feel unsafe. You can haven So havening, creating that safety, that comfort within yourself.

So there are so many different ways. Um, I use Smell, for example, smells incredibly powerful to trigger memory and emotion so you can pair a smell with a certain emotion. So every time you smell that thing. You feel that emotion and that can rewire your brain as well. So no, it is not necessary. There are an infinite amount of tools to help you change your thought patterns.

I will say from my experience, the quickest way is to look at those things that hurt, um, from myself. One of my. [00:31:00] Experiences with hypnotherapy and why I became a hypnotherapist is I struggled with suicidal thoughts for decades, since I was about 10 years old and it stopped overnight with hypnotherapy.

One session I'd gone to counseling for decades. Um, and you learn to cope and self-soothe and all of these skills, but when you dive deep into the thing that really hurts. It was gone overnight, so it's not necessary. There are different steps that you can take. Ultimately, if you choose to do regression, that's something we can do, but it isn't necessary.

So there's more than one path to be able to heal. So it really is the path that works best for you. I love that. That's wonderful. Um mm-hmm. So much goodness. You are giving us so much great value. Can you, um, um, show us what it would look like with the smell? Like, like just a quick little, like, so say you find some lavender, like how do you Sure.

So, uh, let's. If you're familiar with Pavlov's [00:32:00] dogs, or basically every time they would be fed, um, they would hear a bell and they associated the bell with eating and food. Mm-hmm. So every time they heard a bell, they would salivate, their body would have a physical reaction. So imagine smell, like maybe like your mom's cooking or chocolate chip cookies.

It immediately brings you back to this feeling. So what I do with my clients is, let's say that they want to feel. Powerful. I'll do this for myself. I did this for myself. I wanted to feel powerful when I was taking that leap of faith from switching careers, I needed to feel powerful. So I imagined in my mind a memory that made me feel powerful.

And for me, it's riding on a horse and, um, what you do. As you remember that memory with every detail that you possibly can, what does it feel like? So when you're riding a horse, your legs are tight, so um, your legs are really tight, your muscles are activated. The wind in your hair, [00:33:00] the taste of the wind, the feeling of that wind on your face, being able to feel the dirt and connected with the horse.

Notice the sound of the hooves on the earth. Notice all of these things, as many details as you can. Why? There are studies that actually show that when you imagine something with enough detail and you scan the brain, it looks like it actually happened. There's no distinction between an actual event versus an imagined event if you actually imagine it with enough detail and activate enough of your senses.

So once you have that memory. To that full extent and that feeling of being powerful for me, then you breathe in a smell and then you, I, for me, I would breathe it in three times. Once I have that peak feeling of powerful and that memory, I breathe it in three times. And now I have this little stick in my purse.

Um, I do this with my clients in my office, so I have these little portable things and I literally can take out that stick in my office and every [00:34:00] time I smell it, I can feel my legs. Being more powerful, like they're connected to a horse's legs. It just makes me feel alive. Wow. And powerful. I can feel that.

So that's that way that you associate and you don't need to do it that often. If you can elevate the experience as much as you can and smell that. Your body will react. So is the smell, how did you capture that smell though? From the horses? Or is it a different smells that you're It's a different smell.

Okay. So it's not necessarily the horse smell. So for example, a lot of people, if you go into a spot, smells like lavender because that's kind of a scent we've naturally paired. A lot of times real estate agents are like, oh, I'm gonna bake some cookies because cookies. Spin an oven tend to smell like a home.

Um, something that's energizing is mint or citrus. So we actually have natural pairings for things, so it doesn't need to be so literal, but pick the smell. Any smell nice. I had anxiety to, um, she had some anxiety. [00:35:00] She had her father's cologne. Um, her father passed away and we used her father's cologne. And that is something that brought her peace and comfort.

Mm-hmm. So every time she smells it, we activated that feeling of peace and comfort even more. That's beautiful. Yeah. So many tricks. Yeah. So tell us, how does abundance change when it comes from alignment rather than over efforting? What do you see happen when women release inherited beliefs around scarcity or survival?

Ooh. So I will say this. If it doesn't come from alignment, it's not actually true abundance, right? So I'll give you an example. When I was a lawyer, yeah, I, I had a fat bank account at a nice house. Things were going well, but was I truly abundant? I was not in every respect. I was not. I was incredibly. So when we shift into alignment, [00:36:00] what we find is we don't have to effort.

We can intuitively sense what is best for us and the next best step. And when we do that, opportunities are almost. Effortless, right? So we can move into that space that when we are aligned things that are meant for us, they come to us naturally and almost effortlessly. Um, so a fun little way that you can tell, uh, people say, oh, you're so lucky.

You're so lucky. What they don't see is no, I have taken tremendous amount of steps to be in alignment in what you call luck. Is the reward and the effort for living in alignment. So they have a saying as above, so below as without, so within. If there is something in your physical reality that does not match up with what you truly want.

A lot of times we focus on our physical reality, but what it is, is something that is inward and what I've seen with women who have [00:37:00] shifted their beliefs about worthiness, about how they have to earn. Number one, sometimes it comes effortlessly. Number two, doors open that they never thought were possible.

Number three, they're tied to job A, B, or C or Title A, B, and C, and they don't realize that there's option D. And that was meant for them. That is even more in terms of health, wealth, love, whatever it is their metric of success is they can have it all. So it is really important to find that alignment internally, building your internal empire before we build our external empire.

Beautiful. I agree so much. Yeah. I mean, you can have all the money and all the like. Achievements and then feel empty or feel unhappy and not know why. And that's why 'cause you're not in alignment, you're not doing your passion or purpose work, or you don't feel worthy on your own, you know, [00:38:00] wholeness. Um, I was that person

It's so incredible the journey, but it's a different kind of work, right? , It's a different kind of work. So when someone says, you're lucky, you did the work, you did the inner work, right? Yeah, and looking at so many little things. So I am a big believer, and when you dream, you dream big.

But when you're trying to actually take action, small actions as small as you can possibly make it because it compounds. So, for example, watching our thoughts, watching what we say, there's a very common thing people say is it takes. Hard work to be successful, and that in and of itself, you are telling your subconscious mind, which is always listening.

You're telling it that it is difficult. So instead of saying that success takes hard work, you can say success takes focused work. Disciplined work, determined work, purposeful, passionate, meaningful work that I always say, precision of language. [00:39:00] We don't wanna reinforce. It is hard work. So what can we say that is actually true and empowering.

Exactly. I love that. I love that focus work. This is why I took a tiny break from my podcast because I was, I knew that trying to do too many things at once is not going it, it's going to be harder to succeed. You can't master everything master one thing if you're doing everything.

Anyway, that's, that's a belief that I, I kind of hold true, like you said, the focused, and purposeful. 'cause when you're doing your purpose work, you're not even work like it feels, doesn't even feel like work. You're just having fun and you're making money, right? Mm-hmm. And it just comes. There is, , there's a book that I love, so if anyone is interested in being an entrepreneur or taking what their vision is and turning it into a profitable venture, a book that I love is called Regenerative Business by Samantha Garcia, and she talks about nature [00:40:00] and how we are so arrogant to think that we are separate from the rules of nature.

And when we align our. Business. With the rules and laws of nature, we actually become more abundant. And when you look at nature, let's talk about farming. You don't plant seeds in every season. You can be the best farmer that there is, but if you are planting in the wrong season, all of your efforts are wasted.

Also, nothing blooms. All year round. There is a time where you till the soil and here's the truth, and you kind of said, when you're living in your purpose, it feels like joy and, and fun. Um, not always. Sometimes it's like, oh my God, what am I doing? There will be moments where it is. A challenge. So for example, when a farmer's tilling the soil, he is doing a lot of work before anything even comes out of that soil.

That's a lot of faith. That could potentially be a lot of fear. So I'm not gonna say that every single moment feels like joy and play, but I will say. Every single moment feels like it [00:41:00] matters. There's purpose behind it. There is fulfillment. I find fulfillment in every step of the journey. So recognizing that there are some moments that you have to till the soil and you're not going to reap your harvest until quite a while.

And part of reaping the harvest is letting the soil rest. And when the soil is resting in the winter. Farmers are resting too, so, mm-hmm. Recognizing that there are different seasons for our businesses. There are different seasons for ourselves and our per personal development. Full disclosure, I'm incredibly disciplined.

I just did a retreat in Tulum last , week. When I came home, I indulged, I had pizza for dinner and then I had cookies for breakfast. Because we don't, there's not always, we always have to be healed and we have to grow. We have to do this and that. We always have to be perfect. No, we don't. The soil doesn't always reap harvest.

Yeah. We're not perfect natural [00:42:00] cycles. So even if you see professional fighters, when you see 'em weigh in. Oh, they look ripped. You see them off season when they're not preparing for a fight. They got a little bit of a belly. So nothing is constantly in this state of perfection and full bloom. So to expect it to be is a little bit arrogant because nothing in nature is actually that.

So why would you expect that? You of all things have to be that. Yeah. So we are part of nature and moving with those cycles. So if you need a break. Breaks are good. Breaks are mask. Yeah. Yeah. I interviewed a woman for the podcast and I forget her name right now, but she said Rust is a secret weapon.

Mm-hmm. And I loved it. I loved it. And you are a hundred percent, I agree with you a hundred percent on the fact that resting and sitting still, is something that we. Uh, we do not [00:43:00] do enough of, or that we feel a certain way, especially like I'm that person, the doer. Like so many people, they don't even know me for very long and they say, oh, I love your, um, what's the word they always use?

And men specifically, they'll say that I'm like a go-getter. I don't know the word that they say, like,, I can't think of it. Like, motivated, uh, I don't know. I can't think of it right now. But it's just so interesting because I'm like, where are they getting that from?

Or like that I'm independent and all these different things. But anyway, um, I love this conversation so much. We could talk for hours. You're a wealth of information. I love your journey. I love what you've shared so far. For a woman who's listening who feels called to stop striving but doesn't know how, what's one gentle first step that she can take, and what do you suggest?

I just say give yourself permission to breed and give yourself [00:44:00] grace. One of the things that you see in this wellness industry is everybody is always talking about balance This, balance that balance looks incredibly different for different people. If you're an entrepreneur, balance doesn't look like working nine to five and not working on the weekends, and it's really sitting back, letting yourself breathe.

Finding that wisdom within, it'll tell you the next best step. So giving yourself grace and permission to find what your version of balance is. I love it. Okay. If there was one belief you wish every woman could release, what would it be? Ooh. The one belief that there's something they need to fix, that there's something they need to do.

They're just allowed to be and in being, that's when you embody your true power. Hmm. Yay. I love you. You're amazing, honey. Well, thank you. Thank you so much for being here. This was beautiful. I, I can [00:45:00] see working with you in the future in some capacity. Um, tell us where people can find you and anything else you wanna, you know.

Where people can find me. So my website, she's Google me, but it, it'll show up lonnie gonzalez.com and I have retreats that are planned. I have in-person events and workshops, and I also do sessions privately with people one-on-one in my office or virtually. So I'm happy to work with you wherever you are in your journey and wherever you are in the world.

Sounds amazing. Thank you, Lonnie. I loved having so welcome. Loved having you. Well, thank you. Thank you. We'll put your website in the show notes and, thanks everybody for listening.